The paparazzi, the chanting of crowd, the feeling that it gives me cannot be described in words but the hollowness in my heart is still there, when I realize that this is not my home that I am just an ambassador to this country. The people here may rally behind me but the thought of living like an exile who cannot return home is destroying my soul. The support here is immense but when my name will be echoed in the streets of Mingora and when I will not have the fear of being mercilessly shot openly in the street then my objective will be completed, then and my soul will be at rest.
Seeing the current position of my country, I know there is still a long way to go. I am just a drop of water in limitless ocean but what is an ocean but multitude of drops.
Well my heart aches when I listen to my own people turning against me brandishing me as a conspirator as a turncoat they accuse me of not conveying the full extent of the problems faced by my country but what they can’t see is I am trying to use a more of a direct approach trying to uproot the cause from its stem, which can only be done if people can understand the importance of education and its need which will in turn mold our nation into a great one.
“You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.”
― Brigham Young
Was voicing for my own rights is crime? Is it my crime that I stood against millions of terrorists and shouted for girl’s education, for global education, the education for every child on equality basis? We only know one thing and that is criticism? Take a lame excuse and manipulating it. Don’t you admire the opportunity I have got? It takes ages to stand and speak before the people who know you only for extremism, what if I did not talk about drone attacks what if I only talked about oppressed and oppressors ignoring the rest peaceful and facilitated girl (which is understood reality). You think it shame speaking the truth showing how I have came out of that hell just to save future of other girls. Rightly using opportunity seems drama to you.
It is also a natural phenomenon that only the sufferer can well imagine the disasters he/she is going through and others can just see and babble about all this as they are born analysts. When I was shot on head, you all sympathized to me. You called me a brave girl, the pride of our nation, and now what are you doing? You are calling me and my father as “American or CIA agent”. Think wise minds, please think. A sixteen years girl can do no harm to your nation. I have witnessed already what is to be called as being “oppressed” and has tolerated “enough”.
If trying to voice for the education of the 80% of the illiterate people of my country is a conspiracy than I am a conspirator. If trying to end the gender discrimination in my country is a conspiracy than I am conspirator. If trying to promote tolerance in the minds of the impatient youth is a conspiracy than I am a conspirator. If trying to be a spot of light in the room filled with darkness for the woman’s of my country is a conspiracy than I am a conspirator. If you consider these conspiracies than believe me, one day these conspiracies will save our future generation.
I am Malala Yousafzai, the one which Pakistan needs right now, not the one it wants.
Note from admin: The article is edited only for clarity. Haly Research Lab aims to bring out the local unheard voices from all over Pakistan, and publishes articles without extensive grammar, and expression editing to maintain the originality and nativeness of the article.